The Audacity of Idiots
In my english class today we had to read aloud our responses as the advice giver in "Dear Abby". One dilemna was of a teen mother, who was wanting her abusive ex-boyfriend to be in her and her babies life. The idiot I am referring to is Guy X, who began his response: "Dear Sexually Promiscious Young Teen".
He proceeded to send the majority of his "response" insulting the girl for being too promiscoius, blaming her for getting herself nocked up, and for staying with an abusive guy. He questioned her intelligence and repeatedly insulting her for being sexually active and so free with her body.
- while i dont encourage teen pregnancy, (so many of my friends who had kids when they were young have had very hard struggles), there should be no INSULTING these girls and making negative remarks about thier sexuality.
- Guy X mentioned the ex-boyfriend, who was ABUSIVE, and threw in one or two insults about his "running away from responsibility like a little girl".
- really, he kept making every negative thing or insult being directed at the girl or making it seem that only "little girls" (as opposed to whom?) run away from responsibility.
- i really wanted to resort to physical violence, but, i have a reputation to maintain and i am so close to graduating i REALLY cant be dealing with student judicial affairs.
- plus, my husband in law enforcement , and me resorting to smacking some moron, and possibly being charged with battery, well, not the best combo.
- hes just an ignorant person who is small minded. i dont need to punch anyone. But, the urge was there. :)
- Its remarks like these, that really anger me.
- lets just say the girl is promiscous just because she is a teen mother. REALLY?
- guys being promiscous = OK, right? encouraged?
- women being promiscous= look at all the horrible names associated with such behavior.
- What if she had been with this guy for 4 years? and one time without protection--- does nto equal "sleeping around".
- What if she had been sexually assaulted?
- REGARDLESS, i hate labels on people. Maybe the girl was in love (granted, abusive boyfriend, not the best, but it happens to intelligent women and sometime there is not much of social support or even financial means to leave the situation. Sometimes we are blinded by our love for someone, and even if they hard you, it may not be as easy as some think).
- the fact that so many insults were embedded in this Guy Xs response just drives me up the wall. As i heard him read, i swear i was taken back a few decades when teenagers who got pregnant were sent "to see family". the tone, the use of strongly negative and sexist language, the bias against the girl, that really outrages me.
- how many people still act this way? think this way? Ido not have chlidren, so i cannot fathom what it is like to have my child get involved in a very serious, life altering situation like getting pregnant at a young age. (However, this is not a new phenomena. Some people just have access/use protection) . I can imagine that i would NOT be happy about the situation if i had kids and thats what happened, especially if there was an abusive guy invovled. BUT, i hope that i would never
- judge
- label
- mistreat
- claim she is any of the "promiscoius" terms that people so readily declare a sexual woman
- yes, this was just a written response. but this happens all the time.
- If you are "too young" to be pregnant, or its "unplanned", and how -women and men- are treated accordingly. Always differences.
- This Guy X (aka, ignorant idiot), really thought he was using a "clever" tactic by approaching the advice response by insulting the girl and all that. it just REALLY bothers me that people (and hes supposed to be "educated") will jump to the worst conclusion about a young girl who gets pregnant. The scarlet letter may have been a thing of the past, but the outline of that "A" is easily adhered to any girl who is perceived as promiscous.
Awesome Steph! I think its really hard for any one who has never been in an abusive relationship to fathom the mindset of the one being abused. I have been there, and I admit that even I have a problem understanding that mindset too, AND I WAS THERE! Its not something easily described, and it doesn't ever make sense. Now, that being said, now that I have a child, I cannot fathom how someone would want a man like that around their child. But like I said, the mindset is rarely understandable. I think your blogs have become my favorite new thing to look forward too :)
ReplyDeleteYou could always have an "Ally McBeal" moment, and completely fantasize about kicking Moronic Idiots ass! :)
Steph, I commend your restraint from Bslapping the young man. lol
ReplyDeleteI noticed the same mentality frequently when taking classes at Sac State and some at WCC. Is it possible to have rebuttal time in the class? You have such an awesome way of stating facts, hinting at the emotions, without rolling in the dirt. Sometimes I think college is for the young to teach and keep us older students pliable, and for us to teach the young the manners and reasons why things are done a particular way that isn't in any history book. Many parents younger than my folks were are often so busy with just surviving they forgot they need to foster the niceties of life in their childrens lives. How can we possibly expect to remove racism, spread compassion, empathy, manners, living by the golden rule, and so many other long lost parts of our lives if we don't live that way ourselves and stand up even when our knees are knocking and say, hey wait, that is a lot of negatives to heap on a person that needs positives to change her life to the better. Dear Abby was about "well, honey, you messed up but you can turn it around, but you have to want to and oh by the way, NO man should abuse a woman for any reason intimidation (gestures), mentally (mind games), verbally, or physically."
Keep em coming!