- Im sick of being asked when my "baby" is due. By strangers especially, men and women alike.
- IN CASE YOU DIDNT KNOW: asking a woman about her weight, or implying that she is "expecting" when you have not HEARD THE NEWS is A HUGE insult!!
- YES IM OVERWEIGHT. Everyone who is knows that they are. Why do I have to be harassed and reminded by everyone about this? GUESS WHAT? I GET UP AT 5 am MOST DAYS OF THE WEEK, and run, lift weights, and do interval training and various cardio machines. I AM NOT PREGNANT nor am i LAZY and not trying to remedy the situation.
- Im not obese. I should not have to justify my body to anyone. yet i feel the need to. If you do not have the "ideal" body, or have "excess flab" or a "problem area", everyone implies that you have simply "let yourself go" and must be too inactive, or too lazy, to have allowed yourself to GET that way.
- are men insulted if they are overweight? are they treated differently if they have a bulge in the midsection? how many of them get harassed, bothered, insulted, whatever, by friends, family, or strangers!
- as we age, our metabolisms change and our bodies redistribute fat. If we exercise regularly, and eat healthy, we can maintain an appropriate weight for our body.
- There are many things that can contribute to unwanted weight gain. SO MANY THINGS! not just laziness and inactivity.
- The "ideal" body is a JOKE! i know beautiful women, inside AND OUT, and even if they are a size 5, or a size 9, or a size 16, no one is satisfied. how many times have you heard from a woman close to you say something negative about thier
- weight
- rear end
- breast size, shape, etc
- legs
- thighs
- arms
- back (the "oh my god, ive got back fat???"
- too tall
- not tall enogh
- too short
- too curvy
- not curvy enough
- too thin,
- too fat
- too chubby
- too pale
- too dark
- we are always searching to be something else, and unless we have what is "socially desired", we are marginalized and treated differently
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Insulting Womens Weight
WHO DOES THIS?!! Before I go off, I will bullet point some of the main things that im thinking. This will help keep me on track. ALSO: a note, as this is my first blog ever, im not sure of the protocol, or of how "edited" this is all supposed to be. and i don't care at the moment. this is a place for raw emotion, and jsut thoughts and feelings to come into words with my fabulous friends who care to read. Please excuse the type os, because im sure there will be many.
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I FULLY AGREE! And sometimes it does happen that we let ourselves go - but its not like we don't know it, or don't care! Sometimes I get so caught up with Meagan and all her chaos that I'm lucky if I remember to shower! ONE DAY I'm gonna be able to afford plastic surgery - but then I'm sure I will find something else that I feel the need to alter so that I can "fit in" lol. Oh well.
ReplyDeleteAlso, pointing out my weight issues doesn't really do much but lower my self-esteem - and I don't know about anyone else, but low self-esteem certainly does not inspire me to do anything but sit on the couch with a big ass tub of Ben & Jerry's. Kinda counter productive huh? LOL
When I graduated from High School at 17 I was 120 lbs and 5'9". Then my body decided I was a late enough bloomer to get started. I was about 145 by the time I was 21 and in a car wreck that broke 3 vertibrae, 2 ribs, and one of those flat parts off of my backbone. I was in the hospital flat on my back for 28 days. That was the beginning of many years of torturous pain, horrible weight gain and yo-yo diet-loss only to gain more again later.
ReplyDeleteMy highest weight was 350 and I'm back down to 260, but I also suffer from every other illness related to my condition plus about 5 others from heredity and some that aren't.
I know I'm fat/obese/overweight, yes to all, no matter how you might try to sugar coat it. I have heard it all and had all the "sympathy and supportive" comments foisted my way until I want to upchuck on their shoes.
But the most degrading point of a womans world is knowing you are going for a job interview and you are the very BEST person they will EVER find for the spot. You have the education, skills, experience (have trained the last 3 bombs), they are all excited when they see your resume, test scored and telephone interview, but when you walk in the door no matter how meticulously dressed, you see the shutters close in their eyes.
The last one I didn't even sit down, I asked the guy if he was going to give me an honest chance at the job or let the descrimination I just saw in his eyes take over. He stuttered and I said "Sorry, wrong answer, your loss", and walked out with head held high.
I wish I could hug EVERY girl, boy, woman, and man that has had to go through this even once much well every time they take the chance of walking outside their bedroom. Because some of us have to live with people that know what is under the skin but can't accept it isn't their right to change it. I just tell myself EVERY PERSON has 1 something they would give their last nickel to change. I don't have to find their weakness to be strong.
momswebs-
ReplyDeletei have been astounded the more i think about this and after reading your comment what i have been feeling is confirmed. I think that everyone DOES discriminate, Hate, judge, and stereotype anyone who is not the "ideal" body shape and size. Isnt it horrible that we are judged by our measurements and pounds rather than our capabilities and the person under the skin? I learned recently in one of my "aging" courses that there are more negative reactions and stereotypes associated with aging than racism. I wonder about weight?
how is a "skinny" rude, bad attitude woman perceived and treated versus a "fat" nice, warm woman?
It is hard to have high self esteem and believe in yourself when everyone around you acts so messed up. I think the more overweight you are the worse you are treated. Even if you are only ten pounds overweight, or 200, you still experience the weight of that judging gaze and the fun of shopping is diminished.
Lisa-
ReplyDeleteReal people have demands placed on them from many directions. Sometimes, we dont have the energy or drive to get our self moving, (even though if we did it does give us even more energy), but i cant imagine the demands of having children and still making time for "me".
After a year and a half of college right out of high school, I had to work two jobs just to support myself. They were both in food service, and i was in a really bad situation financially and health-wise. Many times i worked double shifts, and sometimes the only way i ate was eating at my jobs (food service, a Mexican grill and a diner). Thats when i really started putting on the pounds. What really hurt, besides not being able to fit in my fav jeans, was that a "mother" of mine said after not seeing me for a very long time, "wow, stephanie, what happened? you got fat!" and in a public place, in front of my *then*soon-to-be in-laws.
i later found out i am insulin resistant. I have been busting my ass at the gym and counting calories and eating healthy, but i have lost only a little weight. I know im not as severe as others, but i just want to feel comfortable in my own skin. Having people insult you when you are working so hard really does affect the positive mood. However, it is about lifestyle and the long run and jsut being healthy and feeling good. If it takes me another 3 months just to lose 12 more pounds, then so be it. The point is, we should be able to be comfortable and feel good in whatever body we have. *and i so feel you about ben and jerryshahahahahah*! :) but i didnt (this time). I got up at 5 this morning and ran and lifted. :) :)
and why should we feel guilty about treating ourselves? does anyone else ever feel guilty for buying chocolate or ice cream? ive had people look at me funny. so what, only the seriously skinny can consume the occasional sweet treat?
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