It Takes Two

It takes two people to maintain a friendship, and at times the help of facebook, texting, calls, snail mail, cards, etc., you can remind your friends that they are in your thoughts.  Meeting up with friends for coffee, drinks, a movie, a quit chat, an hour marathon call, or just an evening of relaxing really is the best thing ever.  That "quality" time that nothing else like texting or facebooking can really provide.  However, our "paths" do diverge, and more often than now, we find ourselves to have fallen out of touch with those people we hold near and dear to our hearts.
    They are your friends, though, and understand your hectic schedule, your many things "to-do", and they dont hold it against you. Too much. until, you stop making any effort, and you fall off of the "friend radar" for what seems like ages.  Then, you get the accusatory comments, the messages with underlying meanings, or the blatant-bit** fest of "WTF?! where have you been!?".
   I am guilty of not always being on the friend radar.  and you know, as bad as i do feel for "neglecting" many of my closest, or not even my closest friends, the more i start to think -- are you kidding me? IT TAKES TWO OF US TO LOSE A FRIENDSHIP.

• did you call me, and i never called back? 
• maybe i was busy, maybe it was the wrong time. maybe, i just dont feel like talking. if i dont let you know ANY of this, then *maybe* it IS personal. (MAYBE ITS NOT!!)  But if you didnt bother to call, dont put all the blame on me. 
• do you text? do you facebook? you have my email. USE IT! 
• one of my best friends is married, works relentlessly over 50+ hours a week, and i dont know how she manages to have free time for herself, let alone call. do i get mad if she isnt on the phone or making active effort every minute? NO, because, as her friend, I honestly GET her schedule, and am happy when we can talk, text, or actually get to see each other. 
• do you get pissy with me just because i havent made an active effort to make time for you? 
• we all have busy lives, and some are more chaotic than others. on my list of things to make a priority in my life, some of the TOP things include: maintaining my GPA in school, my husband, getting sleep, working out, eating, my dog, my internship, band, grad school apps, my family.  thats a lot! and of course my friends are priorities as well, but when i only have so much time to do what i want and need to do before anything else, I only have so much time left for quality catching up with those friends of mine.  Who am i going to call first? well. thats easy. the friends of mine who make ME a part of their busy lives too. if i dont call, or txt, or whatever, its not because im trying to insult you or say "sorry bud, you just arent that important to me", its just that this is how it worked out, and the first people im going to go to are those than make an effort to have my in their lives too. blasts from that past are WONDERFUL. and the best. but, if thats all they are, occasional blips on the radar, and thats all i obviously am to you as well, thats ok. but thats just the way it is, and dont start to "hate" on me or act like i have offended you.  I havent been a priority for you for how many months? if i dont make time for you when i have time free, dont act so suprised. 
• my maid of honor, (well one of them!) is always a thought away. she moved out of town, and i think i have seen her once since she moved. it sucks. we hardly text or correspond or call or anything. but am i mad? am i hurt? no, because i know her life, she knows mine, and we are not discouraged by not being able to keep in touch or see each other. our friendship transcends the typical "oh my god, you didnt call me!!!!!!"