The Scarlet Letter

So soon i feel the need to write. I dont know how often I will be posting, but hey, its thursday and Im taking a study break! :)
The Audacity of Idiots
In my english class today we had to read aloud our responses as the advice giver in "Dear Abby". One dilemna was of a teen mother, who was wanting her abusive ex-boyfriend to be in her and her babies life.  The idiot I am referring to is Guy X, who began his response: "Dear Sexually Promiscious Young Teen".
He proceeded to send the majority of his "response" insulting the girl for being too promiscoius, blaming her for getting herself nocked up, and for staying with an abusive guy. He questioned her intelligence and repeatedly insulting her for being sexually active and so free with her body.

• while i dont encourage teen pregnancy, (so many of my friends who had kids when they were young have had very hard struggles), there should be no INSULTING these girls and making negative remarks about thier sexuality. 
• Guy X mentioned the ex-boyfriend, who was ABUSIVE, and threw in one or two insults about his "running away from responsibility like a little girl".
• really, he kept making every negative thing or insult being directed at the girl or making it seem that only "little girls" (as opposed to whom?) run away from responsibility.
• i really wanted to resort to physical violence, but, i have a reputation to maintain and i am so close to graduating i REALLY cant be dealing with student judicial affairs.
• plus, my husband in law enforcement , and me resorting to smacking some moron, and possibly being charged with battery, well, not the best combo.
• hes just an ignorant person who is small minded. i dont need to punch anyone. But, the urge was there. :)
• Its remarks like these, that really anger me.
• lets just say the girl is promiscous just because she is a teen mother. REALLY?
• guys being promiscous = OK, right? encouraged?
• women being promiscous= look at all the horrible names associated with such behavior.
• What if she had been with this guy for 4 years? and one time without protection--- does nto equal "sleeping around".
• What if she had been sexually assaulted?
• REGARDLESS, i hate labels on people. Maybe the girl was in love (granted, abusive boyfriend, not the best, but it happens to intelligent women and sometime there is not much of social support or even financial means to leave the situation. Sometimes we are blinded by our love for someone, and even if they hard you, it may not be as easy as some think).
• the fact that so many insults were embedded in this Guy Xs response just drives me up the wall. As i heard him read, i swear i was taken back a few decades when teenagers who got pregnant were sent "to see family".  the tone, the use of strongly negative and sexist language, the bias against the girl, that really outrages me. 
• how many people still act this way? think this way? Ido not have chlidren, so i cannot fathom what it is like to have my child get involved in a very serious, life altering situation like getting pregnant at a young age. (However, this is not a new phenomena.  Some people just have access/use protection) .  I can imagine that i would NOT be happy about the situation if i had kids and thats what happened, especially if there was an abusive guy invovled. BUT, i hope that i would never
• judge
• label
• mistreat
• claim she is any of the "promiscoius" terms that people so readily declare a sexual woman
• yes, this was just a written response. but this happens all the time.
• If you are "too young" to be pregnant, or its "unplanned", and how -women and men- are treated accordingly. Always differences.
• This Guy X (aka, ignorant idiot), really thought he was using a "clever" tactic by approaching the advice response by insulting the girl and all that. it just REALLY bothers me that people (and hes supposed to be "educated") will jump to the worst conclusion about a young girl who gets pregnant. The scarlet letter may have been a thing of the past, but the outline of that "A" is easily adhered to any girl who is perceived as promiscous. 

It Takes Two

It takes two people to maintain a friendship, and at times the help of facebook, texting, calls, snail mail, cards, etc., you can remind your friends that they are in your thoughts.  Meeting up with friends for coffee, drinks, a movie, a quit chat, an hour marathon call, or just an evening of relaxing really is the best thing ever.  That "quality" time that nothing else like texting or facebooking can really provide.  However, our "paths" do diverge, and more often than now, we find ourselves to have fallen out of touch with those people we hold near and dear to our hearts.
    They are your friends, though, and understand your hectic schedule, your many things "to-do", and they dont hold it against you. Too much. until, you stop making any effort, and you fall off of the "friend radar" for what seems like ages.  Then, you get the accusatory comments, the messages with underlying meanings, or the blatant-bit** fest of "WTF?! where have you been!?".
   I am guilty of not always being on the friend radar.  and you know, as bad as i do feel for "neglecting" many of my closest, or not even my closest friends, the more i start to think -- are you kidding me? IT TAKES TWO OF US TO LOSE A FRIENDSHIP.

• did you call me, and i never called back? 
• maybe i was busy, maybe it was the wrong time. maybe, i just dont feel like talking. if i dont let you know ANY of this, then *maybe* it IS personal. (MAYBE ITS NOT!!)  But if you didnt bother to call, dont put all the blame on me. 
• do you text? do you facebook? you have my email. USE IT! 
• one of my best friends is married, works relentlessly over 50+ hours a week, and i dont know how she manages to have free time for herself, let alone call. do i get mad if she isnt on the phone or making active effort every minute? NO, because, as her friend, I honestly GET her schedule, and am happy when we can talk, text, or actually get to see each other. 
• do you get pissy with me just because i havent made an active effort to make time for you? 
• we all have busy lives, and some are more chaotic than others. on my list of things to make a priority in my life, some of the TOP things include: maintaining my GPA in school, my husband, getting sleep, working out, eating, my dog, my internship, band, grad school apps, my family.  thats a lot! and of course my friends are priorities as well, but when i only have so much time to do what i want and need to do before anything else, I only have so much time left for quality catching up with those friends of mine.  Who am i going to call first? well. thats easy. the friends of mine who make ME a part of their busy lives too. if i dont call, or txt, or whatever, its not because im trying to insult you or say "sorry bud, you just arent that important to me", its just that this is how it worked out, and the first people im going to go to are those than make an effort to have my in their lives too. blasts from that past are WONDERFUL. and the best. but, if thats all they are, occasional blips on the radar, and thats all i obviously am to you as well, thats ok. but thats just the way it is, and dont start to "hate" on me or act like i have offended you.  I havent been a priority for you for how many months? if i dont make time for you when i have time free, dont act so suprised. 
• my maid of honor, (well one of them!) is always a thought away. she moved out of town, and i think i have seen her once since she moved. it sucks. we hardly text or correspond or call or anything. but am i mad? am i hurt? no, because i know her life, she knows mine, and we are not discouraged by not being able to keep in touch or see each other. our friendship transcends the typical "oh my god, you didnt call me!!!!!!"

Insulting Womens Weight

WHO DOES THIS?!! Before I go off, I will bullet point some of the main things that im thinking. This will help keep me on track. ALSO: a note, as this is my first blog ever, im not sure of the protocol, or of how "edited" this is all supposed to be. and i don't care at the moment. this is a place for raw emotion, and jsut thoughts and feelings to come into words with my fabulous friends who care to read.  Please excuse the type os, because im sure there will be many.

• Im sick of being asked when my "baby" is due. By strangers especially, men and women alike. 
• IN CASE YOU DIDNT KNOW: asking a woman about her weight, or implying that she is "expecting" when you have not HEARD THE NEWS is A HUGE insult!! 
• YES IM OVERWEIGHT. Everyone who is knows that they are.  Why do I have to be harassed and reminded by everyone about this? GUESS WHAT? I GET UP AT 5 am MOST DAYS OF THE WEEK, and run, lift weights, and do interval training and various cardio machines. I AM NOT PREGNANT nor am i LAZY and not trying to remedy the situation.
• Im not obese.  I should not have to justify my body to anyone.  yet i feel the need to.  If you do not have the "ideal" body, or have "excess flab" or a "problem area", everyone implies that you have simply "let yourself go" and must be too inactive, or too lazy, to have allowed yourself to GET that way. 
• are men insulted if they are overweight? are they treated differently if they have a bulge in the midsection? how many of them get harassed, bothered, insulted, whatever, by friends, family, or strangers!
• as we age, our metabolisms change and our bodies redistribute fat.  If we exercise regularly, and eat healthy, we can maintain an appropriate weight for our body. 
• There are many things that can contribute to unwanted weight gain. SO MANY THINGS! not just laziness and inactivity. 
• The "ideal" body is a JOKE! i know beautiful women, inside AND OUT, and even if they are a size 5, or a size 9, or a size 16, no one is satisfied. how many times have you heard from a woman close to you say something negative about thier
• weight
• rear end
• breast size, shape, etc
• legs
• thighs
• arms
• back (the "oh my god, ive got back fat???" 
• too tall 
• not tall enogh
• too short
• too curvy
• not curvy enough
• too thin, 
• too fat
• too chubby
• too pale
• too dark
• we are always searching to be something else, and unless we have what is "socially desired", we are marginalized and treated differently

so i am so not done with this, and i have so much more to say. but i have to go, ive been on campus since 7:30 am and really need to go home, as my ride just came. SO, i will get to the rest of the story tomorrow, but just some stuff to think about for now.